Truth

I want to discuss this
But not to share with anyone
I am unsure how to proceed

You notice, but do not know
I am keeping things quiet
Until I know- things need to be clearer

How I feel
I don't think it has changed
But what I see of how you do-

My world has been shaken
For the aftershock, I lie anxiously in waiting
What will come to pass

Over the days
weeks
months

Will the ground become steady
Complete beneath my feet
Or will all I knew inside

Crumble in pieces, away
Left to be void of the life I've cherished
Of the love I've held so dear

I'd give anything to see the answer
A magic eight ball, triangle flat
With a truth to hold me

Or better yet to move on
Forget the fear of possible truth
And let it be your arms that abide

This aching in my heart
The incorrigible twisting of my gut
Mourning river in my soul

Carrying me through to summer light
Happier days ahead
I wish for them now

For love to be the soft breeze
And the blooming dandelions
Keeping company at our sides

But to carry me
I know of you to refuse
For 'happiness is of thy own making'

And what exactly would to say, my dear
If the happiness of my making included
You

A ring on your hand
A knowledge in their minds
And a house smelling of -- us

This is the future I crave
The one I have been leaning into
Though, my vision alone

I see that now
Even without your confirmation
For me you do not truly ache

Maybe one day in time
Your love for me will grow
But for now it is only -love

As it is you do not yearn
Your happiness is all on you
And inner knowledge is slow in following

I truly do wish and pray
The day you discover self honesty
You also find the strength to share

Truth