Water as Cold as Grief

Grief is like an ocean, bigger and deeper than all of us
Mean, cruel, as beautiful and dangerous as the devil
Its waves of pain come crashing in on every moment of weakness
Unexpectedly they creep into a roaring rumble inside the heart
No matter how used to the cold sting of the icy water
Someone may believe they have managed to become
No poor soul is ever prepared enough to remain standing
Through each magnificent blow of frothy heartache
They are to be knocked back and soaked through to the bone
Left to choke in a bottomless, freezing, chattering, all over chill
Seeking for a coat of warmth that only comes in seconds of denial
For even when one feels they have escaped the trident of sorrow
Sporadically the ice cold water wonders near, to be felt yet again
Ripping through placid eyes, the sound of another leaky faucet
Calling out for the right type of tool to fix the burning crack
To help heart and soul move on, dry and safe, back to land

Get Over It

Being there.
Would be more stressful.
Than staying here.
Could be.
Deal.

Speaking into Silence

Tears have formed in these hazel eyes
For what reason I have not a clue
Pain has again moved into this area
Most of these hours, thoughts run fine
Though for the past moments now
Things seem to have undergone a change
I would like to share this
I want to be open about such things
Speak
But within this quiet, empty space
My words go steadily unheard
And questions continually unanswered
Help is not available to alter
The situation in which I am in
Since writing seems to be leading
Directing my thoughts only here
To this one constant, remaining train
Moving across my sliding brain
Onto distraction, I will patiently go

Confession of the Friendless

This is a confession of the friendless
This is the ballad of the lonely
This is a plea to the life I lead
Please do not allow me to become bitter
Please do not let me rain on parades
Please help me not harbor hard feelings

I sit barely think of anything
Other than the only one my life holds
I sit and notice the whole world going by
Very few even seeing me here
I sit and wait for the one to return
As their live continues to move

Through all the trouble and pain
She moves, carrying herself onward
Finding times to enjoy and things to do
Spending time with remaining friends
Getting to know them better than before
From here I do my best to lend support

This is a confession of the friendless
This is the ballad of the lonely
This is a talk with the life I lead
I will go on this way for now
Until happenstance has this position changed
And I refuse to harbor hard feelings

Like a Riot

It contracts from the inside
My innards the specimen
Creating a simulation in my mind
Like a child, abused and broken
Finding the last of their spirit
Harnessing all that they can find
Placed into a last ditch effort
Pushing, pulling to break free
It comes all at once like a mob
The riot before the fall
Or the bang before the firework
Slowly my stomach crawls
Working its way up my esophagus
Soon to be tasted in my mouth
Not yet, it likes to take its time
I go to stand over its thrown
Ready to release its offering
But not yet does it come
Later maybe, more than likely
And this fever might as well remain
It likes to stay until all is settled
And every last crumb to be tossed
Escapes this cage of yellowing teeth

Red Veil

Slowly blood trickles down my already paling skin
Patiently it slips onto my eyelashes creeping along
Carefully and steadily it dips itself, drop by drop
Plops delightfully onto my cornea, trying to seep in
Although the barrier not be broken, still it blinds
As the donation is thinned by the beginning of tears
My vision turns from stark blindness to blurriness
Barely visible through a thin, wavering red veil
Like a snail it moves to creep down my round cheeks
An eternity turns over marking the time it takes
For the first rolling drop to reach the finish line
Taking an acrobatic dive off of the angle of my jaw
Aiming its self for my breasts, lying tentative below
My ripped blouse, shades of rosemary polished by white
On the floor crying, memories of what happened gone
infuriating fight to realize the gravity of my situation
Thoughts go fuzzy, time drifts away, leaving pictures
The last of things seen is a familiar image of a face
The hair, the shape, the name, all loved, now lost