The Question

Ever since I was little, just past the stage of the “terrible two’s”
Any emotion beyond joy and pleasure were not to be shared
Any feelings felt in the realm of aggravation and anger
Remained inside unless totally alone behind closed doors
In silence I could scream, curse, whale, jump, fly off the handle
It was a way to stay sane, a way that kept on through the years
At first it was due to her, couldn’t stand any kind of emotional outburst
Then it became a method to keep things cool and calm
If nobody knows then what reason do they have to care
Now it is a habit set in motion, for nearly no one to see
There is a price to actually getting to know me
These things begin to be seen, heard, and felt
…
At this moment, I do not feel as though I should just give up
Although, I feel that is what I should be feeling
After all, in past times it was a normal wondering of mine
I view this as an improvement, even if not visible
I am finally letting it seep in what I hear from others when peace is in line
That I deserve more than I ever give myself credit for
So my question is not to be or not to be
And it is not to care or not to care
What truly remains is a question for you
The only one that sees me deep down inside
Do you want me to care or not to care
Do you want to continue in this path or out of it
Do you want to remain the one that helps inspire me
To become what I feel could be a much better version of myself
Or do you want to leave it alone, cut it off and let go
Before any fears or risks inside our minds are ever realized